She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
