Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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