I swear she didn't look like that last week.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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