Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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