Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
