you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
