I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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