come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
