tell your sister to shave her snatch
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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