I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
