this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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