You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You can't motorboat a personality
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So here I am, sexting at work.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
