ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
