The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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