Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
