I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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