My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
