I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
