Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
