I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
