The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
