I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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