oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
