I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
