im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
