if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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