What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
