i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
