The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
