I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you had me at cake vodka
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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