Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
