I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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