i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
there is puke in my bra ... again
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
