My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
