some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
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