We're facebook friends in real life
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
