I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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