38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
two words: eviction party
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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