Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
