Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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