I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
