Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
do herpes really smell.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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