Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I skipped work to stalk him.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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