they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
