Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Sober January is a disaster.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
