Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
