Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
