I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
