he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
