Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
