YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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