do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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