what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
