Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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