Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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