I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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