Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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