I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
