i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
