I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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