I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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